Reading The Headlines

I once had to compose headlines for a weekly newspaper. It isn't as easy as you might think. You need to tease the reader into taking in the first couple paragraphs, but you don't want to mislead him or her. Also, increasingly, more and more people get their news from just the headlines. I promise you that in the last week someone read these gems from the New York Times and was satisfied that they had a grasp of what might be happening in the world:

"Early Sales Push Undercuts Black Friday," "More Than 100 Dead In Bangladesh Fire," "Trade Deal Between Europe and US Gains Momentum."

What else do you need? 

And if you're not especially intellectually curious, or if you want a slant on your headlines, then try these from a few conservative newspapers: "Emboldened Gay Marriage Supporters Now Want more," "What Would Jesus Shoot? Churches Offer Gun Classes."  

And from the left? "Occupy Shows Solidarity with WalMart Workers," and " Your Smartphone's Dirty, Radioactive Secret."

But fear not, there are other headlines out there, headlines that truly offer us a look behind the curtain: "What are the odds? Sasquatch researcher says Bigfoot ravaged apple orchard in his backyard – and he has video to prove it " Well, thank God he can prove it.  Or... from The Examiner: "UFO: Washington Mountain Suggests Alien-like Base."