Monday, April 26, 2010

Voices In The Night

My three dogs sleep in the bedroom with my wife and I. The following conversation was overheard at around 3:00 am.

"I'm bored. Let's watch TV."
"Oh, yeah...say, why don't we just put on 'The-I-Don't-Have-Opposable-Thumbs-Show'?"
"I'm just sayin'. We could wrestle? Wanna wrestle?"
"No."
"Dad's asleep, he won't care."
"No."
---------silence--------
"Hey, Leo, I think there's someone outside."
"What? No, don't do this."
"I think I just saw a shadow. Yeah, there!"
"Please don't.."
"There's definitely someone out there."
"Stop before you....g-r-r-r-r-r"
"He's at the door!"
BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK

--------silence following much disturbance and shouting--------

"So, that was fun."
"I hate you more than the vacuum."

14 comments:

willow said...

That last line made me giggle.

Kathy G said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning. It's amazing how we put up with our pets, isn't it?

Bernita said...

The vacuum + my dogs = under the bed.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Ah willow, thank you. To be honest, Kathy, I am more amazed at how my pets tolerate me. Bernita, Leo runs and Bernie attacks. Matilda is indifferent.

Charles Gramlich said...

In my biz, we call this kind of thing an hallucation.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Charles, you say that like it's a bad thing

Christine Purcell said...

You have a much better sense of humor than I would have at that hour :)

p.s. When my fish looks at me with her bug-eyes and then puffs up her gills, I know she is plotting my demise.

SQT said...

That's funny. My dog is such a coward that she waits under the covers until I make sure it's safe. I think my cat is more likely to defend me... The good news is that the dog rarely barks--you know, that way no one knows she's there.

Anne Spollen said...

We have five cats. Sometimes we lock them in the basement (there are couches down there) because they plot at night and launch into action by biting toes.

Yes, our German shepherd has to be put in the garages before she even sees the vacuum. Great last line.

Glynis said...

Oh, LOL as the owner of 4 dogs I can relate to this post. It is the feral cat mating season in Cyprus...yawn, no sleep for a month.

Jemi Fraser said...

You gotta love dogs ... most of the time :)

Jon said...

Yeah, I heard about that. Bernie emailed me. You don't need opposable thumbs to type...just to text. Oogie doesn't email...he downloads porn...just to get me in trouble, I think. You don't really want to know the sites a dachshound finds arousing.

Barbara Martin said...

Dogs really do that. My Dobermans used to whenever they were bored.

Anonymous said...

Stu that was just the laugh I needed. We all need a little laugh sometimes.