Wednesday, October 01, 2008
The Gathering Evil
The deer are out there.
About eight years ago I had just purchased a new car. Driving along the coast of Lake Huron, on my way to work one morning, I looked out over the windshield and BANG. One second I saw road, the next second I saw deer. A couple thousand dollars worth of damage and a week later, I was on my way home at night. Dusk. Again, in front of me? Deer. Two of them, standing frozen in the road. I didn't have time to stop, so I...steered between them. I'm still amazed at this. They were standing frozen and I steered between them. Since this happened I've had two other incidents with my car and deer.
I see deer almost each morning now as we head into the hunting season. They stand by the side of the road and mock me, wiggling their private parts in my direction while taunting in Brooklyn accents. I've seen them defacing road signs, saying rude things to children waiting for school buses. I've seen them pretending to be civil to one another. I've seen them gambling and wearing cheap make-up.
It used to be about Bambi. I used to look down at hunters. I still look down at hunters. I think the time has come to hit the forests from above, raining down napalm on the antlered fiends.
Posted by Stewart Sternberg at 3:05 AM