Friday, May 23, 2008

Make Them Stop

In the last few weeks, I have been subjected to several people who have written from the POV (point of view) of an inanimate object. What the hell???? Is this a new trend I should know about? If it is, what do I need to do to stop it while it's in its infancy? Is it some sort of evil political thing meant to destroy the world of modern literature? Could it be that too many people have grown up reading "Readers Digest", specifically articles titled: "I Am Joe's Kidney" or "I am Pete's Anus."?

I understand from Chuck Zaglanis that Lovecraft wrote a story from an inanimate object's point of view. And according to Chuck, it was unreadable.

The two stories I read recently were so bad, so wretched, so unreadable that I almost admire the authors' their ability to sink to that level of vileness.

The first story was about a knothole in a wood fence. What? That's right. A knothole was the main character. The story talked about a yard from the knothole's point of view. Keep in mind that we aren't talking about children's literature here. We're discussing the desperate scratchings of a middle aged man who pointedly stated: "I just write stuff down. I leave it to other people to edit and correct the spelling and such."

Another individual, a large, bellicose man with a blocky face and skin the texture of oatmeal, wrote a story from a street's point of view. Ah...paragraphs about cars, bits of paper, and peoples' feet. This same individual proclaimed with pride: "I don't read fiction." Yes, well, if you're planning on writing fiction, why should you? Hell, go sit with the guy who wants other people to proof and rewrite his work, the two of you should have a helluva lot to talk about!!!

Neither of these tales were actually tales. The men involved didn't understand plot, character, theme, or any other of the elements of fiction. They give them lip-service, but don't want to put forward the work to actually become competent at executing them.

Some writers want to write. Some people want to be thought of as writers. Some people are just idiots and need to be put out of my misery.


SQT said...

I'd be scared to read the one about Pete's anus.

Sphinx Ink said...

I'd describe not only the stories, but also their authors, as "bizarre." Very bizarre. I could understand if the story was scifi and the object that everyone thinks is inanimate is in fact a sentient being...but if the author means for it to be and to remain inanimate--well, that's just BIZARRE!

Charles Gramlich said...

Anbody who proudly makes the claim they never read fiction and then try to write it are beyond the ability of intelligent people to understand. What a dork.

Lana Gramlich said...

I agree with you on this one. I read a story told from the point of view of a tree alongside a road. It was terribly dull. How do these things get published???