Saturday, December 29, 2007

Devil May Care

I've always been a sucker for exorcism. There's something about a couple priests pushing up their sleeves and heading out to Georgetown to kick a little bit of demon ass. Maybe it's the romantic in me. Imagine then how delighted I was when I heard the pope had announced a "War on Satan" with the intention of setting up exorcism squads. Heart be still. I'm sure George Bush became more than a little aroused.

Apparently the Vatican is concerned about what they see as an increase in interest in the occult. That and poorly printed expiration dates on milk cartons. According to an online Catholic news service, the Vatican has introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness." Furthermore, each bishop will be instructed to have a number of priests in his diocese trained to fight demonic possession.

Why can't Jews be this cool? Why can't the rabbis band together and have squads of holy guys traveling around shaming evildoers? They could wear special uniforms so as not to be mistaken for the Hasidim. I think about these things because someone has to. If I had it my way, Jews would do communion, too. Oh sure, we couldn't do the "body of Christ" thing. We'd have to put a different spin on it. Maybe call it the "the cookie of Aunt Esther". Just thinking out loud.

Forgive me for getting off topic. I just want to tip my hat to the pope. Either Benedict is getting very cool in his old age, or very very crazy. I wonder if he has plans for dealing with cats.

21 comments:

Franki said...

I'm pretty sure its Satan in the Pope's clothing. You've seen that smile.

Kate S said...

I love you Stewart.

SQT said...

I'm voting crazy, but that's just me.

DesLily said...

thanks Stewart.. I needed a smile today lol

Charles Gramlich said...

Well, we are living in the end times after all.

spyscribbler said...

Sigh.

Shaking of Head.

I have no words.

seventh sister said...

this post makes my head spin

Lori Witzel said...

*snork*

Dang, you made me snort coffee out my nose.

Ah, The Elevation of The Cookie of Aunt Esther...gives me a fit of massively irreverent giggles.

Where's my Flying Spaghetti Monster insignia?

Stewart Sternberg said...

franki..it's a holy thing. Kate, I love you too. SQT, vote crazy but vote. Des...good. Charles, the end times aren't really here yet. That's next week.
Spy..the words that fail are "Klatu Barada Niktu".
Shimoda..seventh sister..that's a linda blair thing. And Lori...snork back atya.

Donnetta Lee said...

War on Satan, huh? All you have to do is watch the scifi channel!
Donnetta

Mark Rainey said...

What a beautiful day for an exorcism.

--M

DesLily said...

Changing the subject: I want to wish you and your family a Happy and Healthy New Year!!! I hope it's a good one for all of us!

Fab said...

This was a fun post to read. Needed a laugh like that. That Benedict is some Pope! Squads! What next?

Happy New Year, Stewart!

Fab said...

Darn, I meant Stuart and not Stewart. Soooo very very sorry about that. Stupid fingers, doing their own thing when typing is frustrating!

Stewart Sternberg said...

Hey, Fab...Stewart is correct. Good to see you Donetta..Lily, happy new year. And as for you Mark...remember what they say: "I am legion"

Vwriter said...

There is a fellow named Jeffrey Chajes whom a friend of mine corresponded with during the mid to late 1990's, who was then a PhD candidate at Yale and was doing- as part of his work- extensive research into the documented cases of Jewish exorcism. Kabbalists (spelling optional) were sometimes involved, such as Rabbi Moses Zacuto, but apparently such activities, although poorly documented before the 1600's, were extant. Chajes' work was to define it within the context of Jewish history and culture.

My friend was researching exorcism within the Islamic faith, and variants within the Buddhist tradditions, attempting to develope as part of her PhD thesis an integrated overview of exorcism as a critical component of all major religions both during their respective early phases and modern times.

Their paths crossed in this area of research in an interesting way in that, as my friend put it, "The identification of good and evil as a critical component of the communal power structure of a culture. That is to say that who defines God and that deity's spiritual opposite can have neither authority nor continuances without providing a way for them members of that culture to be approved by that deity and also to be protected from evil. Hence, the rite of exorcism is to be found in all fully developed religions and traditions."

So fear not, Stewart, exorcists are not restricted to Catholocism only. We can laugh at the rites of exorcism no matter what religion we are lampooning. Unless, of course, we should ever be in need of their services.

Lana Gramlich said...

I'm with you Franki. If the Catholics wants to get rid of Earthly scourges they should start by blowing their own brains out.

Happy New Year to you, Stewart!

Sphinx Ink said...

Stewart, you are Legion, but are you Legend? Not yet perhaps, but I predict you shall be Legend one day. The Legend of Stewart...or does it sound better as The Legend of Sternberg? Ending, of course, in The Sternberg Mythos...

Stewart Sternberg said...

Rick, I would have more faith in exorcism, but Dick Cheney is still vice president

Pythia3 said...

Well, I came by to see what you've been up to and I was about to comment on your latest post when my eyes saw the word: EXORCISM.
Well, that did it. Now I'm here commenting on this post.
I am fascinated with exorcisms. When I lived in Greece, a friend of mine took me to a hidden church near Athens to witness a priest (performing; doing...???) exorcisms. Wow, that was intense.
I love the 'Emily Rose' movie. Have you seen that one?
Happy New Year, by the way :)

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