Friday, July 13, 2007

Mr. Irrelevant

Have you ever heard of Marty Moore, Fred Zirkie, or Mike Green? I don't see how you could have missed them? What about Kevin McMahan, Andre Sommersell, or Ryan Hoag? These men have all earned the unique title: "Mr. Irrelevant". Yes, I know I'd want that on my resume.

Apparently "Mr. Irrelevant" is the title given to the last person in the NFL draft each year. When I think about how painful it was being picked last in sandlot from time to time, I can't imagine the humiliation and misery of being selected "Mr. Irrelevant". Pick 255.

Rookie camp must be heaven for these fellows. And you're probably wondering what team picked Mr. Irrelevant this year. Get ready. ...The Detroit Lions.

Dear God. So not only is Ramzee Robinson the new Mr. Irrelevant, but he plays for Team Irrelevant. I want to cry for this man. I want to offer him cookies and take him to Cedar Point to enjoy the carousel. I want to tell him that things won't always be this bad.

Starting today, I'm raising a mug of beer to this hero of heroes, Ramzee Robinson. Be brave Ramzee. Know that being on the worst team in football means that you've most likely found a home. They'll probably make you first string.


William C.(Cadaver) Ford said...

Hmmmm, Ramzee. Sounds like one of those Egypt mummies. A cadaver. I could like the guy.

SQT said...

I would feel sorry for these guys except they probably still make a lot of money.

It could be worse too. I used to know a guy (I worked with his girlfriend) who played for the 49ers for a few years. Only he was always hired as a free agent after the draft picks were over. Every year he had to hope he'd get picked up since he didn't have any kind of a contract. I don't think I could handle that kind of job insecurity.

Travis said...

The Giants and Raiders have had the last pick in the draft 8 times each, the most of any NFL team.

Of all the useless sports trivia, that stat must rank among the most useless. And I went and looked it up.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Mr. Ford..the Lions have been dead for years.

SQT, I don't feel sorry for them, either. Of course, these guys die at an early age and their bodies are wrecked by middle age.

Trav..worthless stats is what the sport is all about.

SQT said...

Do they really die at an early age Stu?

You're right about their bodies being wrecked though. My dad had a guy years ago who worked for him who once played for the Raiders. His knees were toast.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Oh, SQT...Scripps Howard was able to compare mortality rates for professional-football players with the 2,403 Major League Baseball players who have died in the last century. The comparison found that football players are more than twice as likely to die before age 50. Asked to speculate on the cause for this difference, experts noted that football players generally are heavier than baseball players.

This is from ESPN. The problem as these three hundred plus pound linesmen who torture their bodies.

Tammie Jean said...

What a humiliating title! I've never heard of that.

miller580 said...

That's right Mr. Irrelevant. You have a home. So drink it up. or sniff. You pick your poison. Snag yoou some pole dancers and slap da b_tches around.Shoot at random people. Live life like it was 1999. You are now a Detroit Lion! Congrats!

Jon said...

How creative. Is his brother's name Trojaan?

Stewart Sternberg said...

You're right, Tammie, when I first became aware of the title I cringed. Then I thought about the Lions and thought: how appropriate.

Jim, now that you're in Florida you officially have a football team. I envy you. The next time you hear one of those ungrateful fans start bitching down there, you can lay a heavy hand on a shoulder and mournfully explain what it is to love football and live in Michigan. Of course, we do have UofM and MSU...but still.

Yes Jon, I understand the Lions are negotiating for him, too. He's eight.

Charles Gramlich said...

Nevertheless, Gentlemen, complain as you will about your city's football team, the Saints are still traditionally the worst team in the NFL.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Charles, at least the last year or so the Saints have gained some respect. The Lions almost had some of that in the late nineties, but when then we saw the man behind the curtain.

I must disagree, and I think both Jim and Jon and any other person from Michigan will follow suit, that the Lions are an embarrassment, not just from a talent perspective. Hell...we're the team who had a coach drive naked through a drive through last year.

And if I'm not mistaken Charles, you were cheering for the Saints last year. That's something no Lions fan has been able to do, with credibility, in the last ten years.

miller580 said...

And the lions suckiness is generational. By this, I mean that neither I, nor my father, nor my grandfather have seen a Lions team "worth" cheering for. Sure there have been versions of the team we didn't complain as much about. But there is a big difference between cheering and not complaining as much.

My dad, back in the day would curse out streams of profanity at the entire organization when those hollow victories destroyed draft opportunities, massacred the possibility of a good quarterback. But now...take last year for example, when Detroit beat Chicago (i think)...had they lost, they would have positioned themselves better in the draft. But they made a come from behind victory. My dad's response was to shrugs and say "so what, its not like they would draft anyone worth a damn anyway." That is years and years of fan abuse that evolved into apathy.

If that doesn't convince you, look at Barry Sanders. Here is a great player, so messed up by the Lions organization that he would rather retire before breaking records than to let the Detroit organization get credit.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

As a Chicago Bears fan, I know of Mike Green. He actually had a couple good years in Chicago before they demoted him last year and then dumped him. Any time the media talked about him, they would reference the Mr. Irrelevant. He was a little too small for strong safety, but he played hard.

Lucas Pederson said... least you got a pro football team! All we got here in Iowa is college. The Hawkeyes. But that's fun to watch every now and then too.

Anyhoo, I tagged you for a meme. You don't have to accept if you dont' want to. It's new to me anyway. Oh, you're supposed to come look at my blog and read what I got. It's up to you.

avery said...

The last time I followed a sporting event was when I was eleven and my sister's high school staff played basketball against the Washington Redskins for charity. Now that was entertainment.

Travis said...

I've found a fascinating sports argument - who's team is historically worst.