Please, Lord...I admit it, I watched a season or two of "Survivor". I've watched "Big Brother" and I've was fascinated by "Joe Schmoe". I've even finally caved and watched an episode or two of "American Idol". But Lord....it's time to make it end.
I had thought with Fox's "The Littlest Groom", a painfully bad show that pitted vertically challenged women against tall models for the affections of a little person, that it had hit bottom. No, Lord, it didn't. Instead, each year brings another "Survivor", another "American Idol", another (gag) "Dancing With The Stars". Each year. Each year. And it gets worse and worse.
So Lord SMYTE THEM. Bring your torrential rains, your fire, your vengeful spirits, your plagues and cataclysms and I will lead a handful of the holy into a new covenant. We will embrace your new teachings, whatever they may be, even if they somehow include the abolition of power tools and the color mauve, and we will cherish your words no matter how unclear or open to interpretations.
No more reality shows. I beg you. NO MORE REALITY SHOWS!!!!!!
Your loving servant. And about the hemorrhoids...