From Ghoulies to Ghosties, To Long-Legged Beasties, To Things That Go Bump In The Night, May The Good Lord Deliver Us!!!
As I get older, I get harder to scare. There was a time when a stroll through a cemetery on a gray afternoon would raise goosebumps along my arms and raise the hair on my neck. Hell, I could freak myself out by just sitting on the front porch of my house, watching the darkness gather over the neighborhood and listening to the dayworld give way to the world of the Night.
Now that old graveyard is just a graveyard. The front porch is a place to sit.
Is it that as we get old, and I'm talking about fifties and sixties, that the approach of our mortality makes the supernatural world less frightening? Or is it that as my belief wanes, my lack of spirituality, that I don't have the same experience? Perhaps my fears have been replaced by other fears. Maybe I am more alarmed by the prospect of having a stroke and becoming helpless and a burden on loved ones. Maybe I am more terrified by dementia or Alzheimers. Perhaps I fear the infirmity of old age and the dread onset of a realization that so many hopes and dreams can never be realized, that disappointment is a mocking friend that whispers in the ear.
Strangely, I want to be afraid. I want to feel the first prickling of horror at the unexplainable return. I want to be terrified of the boogeyman. I write about fear all the time, now I want it back.
When I first started writing this blog back in August of last year, I wrote about an experience I had with fireflies that set me searching for faeries. Maybe this summer, I need to return to the search. I believe the human spirit is an amazing thing and that it is possible to renew a sense of wonder and discovery. I believe it possible to revive the part of the soul that has quieted or been set aside.
Maybe in addition to looking for faeries, the search should now include the things that go bump in the night.