Here I am on the left, hanging out with a group of guys, just trying to enjoy a Passover. I was going to do a photoshop of me and Mohammad, but I didn't want to cause a riot somewhere.
I'll tell you my take on God. I want God to have an incredible sense of humor. I don't ask for much more than that from the deity. I want a God who can give me an amazing belly-laugh and an astonishing smile. I don't want Him or Her to sigh over the sins of the mortals or be lectured to. I want my God to nod appreciatively and say:
"So, Stew, did you have a good time?":
"Yeah, it wasn't that bad," I'll say. "Oh, there were some curve balls, but..."
"But that's life," He'll say with a laugh. I'll agree.
So here's a few quotes I think the Deity would enjoy:
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me."
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did’."
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
All gods are better than their conduct.
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1902-1903